Webcomic creators Red & Flynn challenged their fans to compete in a writing competition. The rules were to take elements from their comic (setting, characters, etc.) and combine them with a traditional fairytale plots and conventions. Their webcomic is a dark thriller about a detective duo tracking down the supernaturally enhanced murderers of a young woman; naturally I decided to combine this with The Frog Prince.
The end result --a script featuring Sawyer: someone who is internally too old for this sh*t, Ollie: everyone's favorite stab-happy uncle, Sid: the goddaughter from hell, and an overly helpful amphibian-- won the first prize. https://tapas.io/episode/918273
INT. SID’S SEWER CLUBHOUSE. YES THAT’S WHAT WE’RE CALLING IT FROM NOW ON SHUT UP SAWYER - DAY
The open space is a clubhouse only if you classify any place with a second hand couch-- so ill-used that the threads are hanging off it like the least washed lint-ball-- a clubhouse. The only source of light is what filters in through the grates above and from the larger opening further off down the tunnel. It’s a small space, but it’s big enough for three malnourished friends to occasionally hang out in secret. Which is the best part about the Clubhouse; it’s a place that’s theirs and only theirs. Something that Sawyer will only admit to appreciating because “‘t’s quiet.”
Sid stands next to the left arm of the couch --which is warped in ways that shouldn’t be possible-- and glares at the much larger man currently raising an eyebrow back at her. Her arms tighten across her chest as she digs her fingers into her elbows in an attempt not to throttle him.
Finally she huffs, somehow punctuating the noise of frustration with a sweeping and violent gesture.
Ollie, climbing down a nearby ladder, narrowly avoids getting smacked in the face by the back of Sid’s hand.
Sid
What about that is so hard to believe?
Sawyer
The talking frog.
Ollie (skeptically)
There’s a talking frog?
The anger flaring up in Sid’s throat makes her squeak when she speaks.
Sid
The talking frog is real!
Sawyer
Uh huh.
Sawyer flicks away a cigarette butt and slouches back into the lumpy couch. He refuses to meet Sid’s eyes or say anything else. Sid huffs again before whipping around to face Ollie.
Sid
You believe me right?
Ollie glances between the two, stuck between Sid’s aggressively hopeful eyes and Sawyer’s carefully neutral face. He holds his hands up in a way that he hopes is placating and takes a few steps back.
Ollie
I missed the first part of...whatever this is. Sooooo I really can’t say.
Sid
I was skipping stones a few tunnels away.
Sawyer
By herself.
Sawyer looks entirely too pleased with himself for his deadpan tone to be anything but a dig at Sid; she glares at him before continuing.
Sid
Long story short, the cord on my necklace broke. It fell in. And then this frog swims up and says that he’ll bring me my necklace back if I do him a favor.
Ollie
A frog?
Sid
Uh huh.
Ollie
Alive.
Sid
Yep.
Ollie
In these sewers!?
Sawyer
S’what I said!
Sid shifts her glare to the ground and blinks quickly. Her arms fold around her too skinny ribs; she looks a lot smaller than she did when she was angry.
Ollie glares at Sawyer- -who hasn’t realized that his panic is showing on his face-- before carefully molding a smile onto place and modulating his voice to be carefree and optimistic.
Ollie
Well there’s only one way to solve this.
Sid (hopeful)
There is?
Sawyer (confused)
There is?
Ollie
Sid the kid, you gotta show us this not-dead, talkin’, sewer frog.
INT. SEWER PIPELINE SECTION A-7- DAY
Sid races ahead, calling back encouragements every few minutes to the two “old men who can’t walk faster than a turtle. Seriously, move your butts guys!”
Ollie
You know, it is possible to tease her too much.
Sawyer
I know.
Ollie
Gotta tell you, that right there? that was too much.
Sawyer
I know.
Ollie bumps shoulders with the taller man. Or at least he tries to, instead he rams his shoulder into the space between Sawyer’s top two ribs.
Ollie
Not a good sign when I’m the adult, right?
Sawyer doesn’t dignify that with a response.
Sid
C’mon! It’s just up here.
She stops walking and points down the tunnel.
Ollie calls out to her.
Ollie
What did the frog want anyway?
Sid
I don’t know.
Ollie
He didn’t say?
Sid
Well, I told him that I wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers.
Ollie
And?
Sid
And that I wasn’t allowed to make deals with anyone who didn’t have horns on their head.
Ollie
That’s my girl!
Sawyer
Right, you’re the adult.
Ollie shrugs.
Ollie
It’s a good rule.
Sawyer raises an eyebrow.
Ollie
What? At least with the devil you know what you’re bargaining for and what you’re giving up. That’s better than you can hope for at a flea market.
He finishes talking just as they make it to where Sid’s been waiting for them. She spreads her arms out, nearly running her fingers against the nearest wall.
Sid
Tadaa!
Ollie and Sawyer scan the water skeptically. It doesn’t look any different. In fact, nothing about this particular section of tunnel makes it look any different from the other tunnels.
Ollie
Sorry to break this to you Sid, but there’s nothing here.
Sid
Watch this.
She turns to the extremely gross and murky water.
Sid (loudly)
Hey, frog! I’m ready to do that favor for you.
There’s an expectant few minutes where Sid and Ollie stare intently at the water and Sawyer leans back against the grimy wall of the sewer. He starts off another cigarette.
Sawyer
Nothing’s gonna happen.
Ollie tilts his face away at an angle that blocks Sid from seeing the completely affronted look on his face. His eyes are blazing in that way that promises future unpleasantness.
Ollie
You can’t be sure Sawy-
Sid
Look!
Sawyer kicks off from the wall and takes a step closer to the water.
Something, just under the surface, is making the muck floating on the top move around. The scum swirls and moves steadily out of the way as, whatever it is, makes a bee-line for them.
A small green head pokes up out of the water and two surprisingly large eyes peer back at them. The eyes sink back into the water before bursting upwards as the frog spits Sid’s necklace onto the concrete by her feet.
Sid bends down to pick up her pendant. She looks back at the frog and the distance that it spit the necklace before shrugging.
Sid
Cool.
Frog
Alright-
Ollie
OH MY F*CKING GOD A TALKING FROG!
There’s a blurred motion, a soft thunk, and a slightly louder splash as the frog falls backwards in the water. It takes a few seconds for the scum to settle, but after that there’s no discernible difference between where the frog had been and the rest of the water; if you overlook the slight discoloration that is.
Sid and Sawyer just stare at the place where the frog had been.
Ollie clutches at his shirt, his eyes are wide, and the halter across his chest hangs unevenly. He slowly regains control over his breathing as he too, stares at the muck. He laughs a little and turns to Sid, running a hand through his hair as he calms down.
Ollie
I thought you were kidding, but you weren’t. You really really weren’t.
Sawyer (deadpan)
We are never going near here again.
Sid nods slightly and tucks her necklace into her pants pocket.
Her shoulders curl in on themselves, which is awkward seeing as she’s wordlessly walking back to the Clubhouse with her hands shoved in her pockets. Sawyer walks quickly to catch up with Sid leaving Ollie all alone on the sliver of concrete above the sewer water. Slowly the look of shock and surprise melts off his face into something more neutral. He looks disappointed, sad almost.
Ollie
Awww, my knife.
END.
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